{"product_id":"the-count-s-sugar-problem-funny-vampire-halloween-mug-black-11oz-15oz","title":"The Count’s Sugar Problem — Funny Vampire Halloween Mug (Black 11oz\/15oz)","description":"\u003cp\u003eCount Snackula survived centuries of angry villagers, wooden stakes, garlic, sunlight, and increasingly unfavorable real-estate conditions in Transylvania.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen he discovered the American diet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Count’s Sugar Problem\u003c\/strong\u003e Halloween mug features our unfortunate vampire receiving some devastating dental news from Dr. Igor Fangsworth, DDS, at the Transylvania Dental Clinic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLook closer and the situation gets worse: fang repair, blood-stain whitening, plaque removal, questionable dental equipment, and one vampire realizing that immortality apparently doesn't protect against cavities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA ridiculous glossy, black Halloween mug for morning coffee, evening beverages, spooky-season desk duty, or gifting to the horror fan whose kitchen cabinets could probably support their own Halloween store.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMicrowave-safe:\u003c\/strong\u003e heat beverages quickly without worry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDishwasher-safe:\u003c\/strong\u003e holds up to daily cleaning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant colors: \u003c\/strong\u003ebright, crisp print that preserves design detail\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGlossy ceramic with C-handle: \u003c\/strong\u003ecomfortable to hold and visually striking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMug Color: \u003c\/strong\u003eGlossy Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in 11oz and 15oz: \u003c\/strong\u003etwo sizes to match drink preferences, lead- and BPA-free\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWhat you'll receive: \u003c\/strong\u003eOne The Count’s Sugar Problem mug featuring the illustrated Transylvania Dental Clinic design.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Completely Unnecessary Backstory\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor centuries, Count Snackula had excellent teeth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen he moved to America.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody warned him that modern blood came with this much sugar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAfter several decades of midnight snacking, the Count noticed some troubling developments: fang sensitivity, unexplained cavities, and what his dentist described as “a frankly irresponsible amount of plaque for an immortal.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo he made an emergency appointment at the Transylvania Dental Clinic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDr. Igor Fangsworth examined the damage, lowered his mirror, and delivered the diagnosis:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Well, well... looks like all that high-sugar blood is killing your smile!”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Count was horrified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot by the cavities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBy the possibility of switching to a healthier diet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eCASE STATUS: \u003c\/strong\u003eOngoing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT:\u003c\/strong\u003e Repeatedly rescheduled.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFLOSSING:\u003c\/strong\u003e Absolutely not.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":56057358385444,"sku":"66637151702247704677","price":21.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":56057358418212,"sku":"31952856252732278071","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/0535\/0948\/files\/13173588440532116689_2048.jpg?v=1787592727","url":"https:\/\/www.warpedholidays.com\/products\/the-count-s-sugar-problem-funny-vampire-halloween-mug-black-11oz-15oz","provider":"Warped Holidays","version":"1.0","type":"link"}